THE WEDDING GUEST GUIDE
Nothing beats the uncertain inevitable high expectations of a wedding guest. You never know what to expect. Will there be enough food and even more importantly enough alcohol? Whatever the situation, the wedding guest is expected to be immaculate. Well presented, mannerly, seated automatically in the back of the church - always standing up for those late-comer elder aunties. Never too drunk and always on the dance-floor, whilst never outshining the main couple. The big question is, how do you dress for this heroic performance?
Me finally feeling comfortable at a wedding with this Co-ord by Double J and H&M kitten heels, with matching (black) velvet headband.
My first wedding was a bit traumatic, it was in the most stunning Spanish vineyard, with a very royal guest-list, both parties said yes which led one to expect the perfect day - except that everyone, and I mean everyone was appeared wearing pastel skirt matchy-matchy sets with matching hats under neatly made hair, whilst I, proudly but wrongly thought it was a black-tie attire and arrived in a swinging long floor gown with wildly loose hair = disaster.
My second wedding, I was desperate to get it just right. After some research, I managed to find a all-pastel-matchy outfit with its coordinated hat, only to realise too late, that this time everyone else wore floor length dresses = disaster nr 2.
With this in mind, when it came to my own wedding I made a very clear mood board that was shared with my guests way in advance, to avoid any awkward moments.
Four Weddings and a Funeral - a very Brittish way of weddings (and funeral).
The other day, on another wedding (this one without moodboard) it dawned on me that actually maybe I wasn't the only one struggling with the wedding dress code. I saw far too many guests dressed in black (it's not a funeral), far too many in too short dresses, (wedding is not a slutty affair - a priest is present!) and overall just too much mix and match of that and this, that one wasn't sure who was actually supposed to be at the same event and not at the casual baptism next door (clearly this opened the way for some noisy wedding crashers). I realised to avoid future strangers enjoying your buffet, something drastic needed to be done, so here is my Wedding Guest Guide, I hope can give you future wedding bliss.
WEDDING GUEST GUIDE
NO TO ALL BLACK
I mean it, let's celebrate the joy of love and not the death of single life. Think colour = happy and love. Use this moment to try and experience with a new colour, maybe you find something new to add to your wardrobe. If you are struggling to find a tone that suits you, I would recommend an appointment with Red Leopard, that can identify your most flattering hues.
Considered as a "hero all year round", Galvan refreshes its signature 'Sienna' dress in new shades each season. It’s cut on the bias from glossy satin to drape fluidly over your figure and has a high neckline. Wear yours with pumps or flats.
£1,095
Self-Portrait is beloved for its feminine approach and intricate detailing, like the crystal embellishments that outline the bodice of this dress. It's made from sky-blue chiffon and falls to a plissé skirt with sparkling silver fil coupé threads.
£380
You'll feel so elegant and glamorous in Galvan's slinky 'Sienna' gown. Bias-cut from fluid satin to skim your curves, it falls to a full-length hem and has a high halterneck with ties that flow behind as you walk. Wear yours with silver jewelry.
£1,495
Swedish brand Malina has really nailed the wedding guest dressing (and bridal). This cut out slip maxi dress is made with recycled polyester. This mint shade is just fabulous.
£246
PRINTS
You either love or hate prints, but a wedding can be the perfect occasion to finally try to embrace it. Wearing a print gives that little bit of extra joy. Try not to be too graphic as a wedding is has more a floral ambiance.
Erdem's dress is made from cotton-faille that's printed with a beautiful floral motif that's blurred for an abstract effect. It's designed in a column silhouette that nips in slightly at the waist and has a high neckline. The side splits ensure you can walk with ease.
£2,095
Calf-length dress in an airy cotton weave with a V-neckline and narrow, twisted shoulder straps. Fitted, pleated bodice with a sewn-in wrapover at the front and a concealed zip at one side. Made with 100% cotton.
£23
Emilia Wickstead's 'Elanda' maxi dress makes getting ready for special events feel effortless. Made in Portugal, it's cut from weightless floral-print crepe with a high neckline and billowing bishop sleeves. Define the floaty shape with the matching tie belt.
£1,760
La DoubleJ's collaboration with Orlebar Brown is sure to spark joy. This 'Magnifico' dress is cut from silk-twill patterned with a floral print reminiscent of a flourishing walled garden. Draw the eye to the waterfall sleeves with a stack of golden bangles.
£1,150
BYE BYE NAVY
Ahh, the colour navy.. For men, yes, but really come on, if you are not dressing in black but chose navy - I am not giving you a hurray! You are just playing it a bit too safe. Try at least to be a bit more excited than this protective (and lets say it : BORING) colour. Have you tried racing green? Or go wild hot pink!
Self-Portrait’s dress is such pretty choice for parties and summer events. Made from floral cotton-blend guipure lace, it has scalloped trims and a slim waist belt that cinches the shape. It's fully lined for coverage, too.
£380
Long, sleeveless dress in crêpe chiffon with a deep, flounce-trimmed V-neckline and flounces over the shoulders, down the front and back. Concealed zip at the back. Lined. 40% Recycled polyester.
£54.99
This fabulous yet chic maxi dress with transparent lace, long sleeve and high neck collar comes in this Rainbow hue. Just the perfect mixture of subtleness yet happiness.
£263
Parting ways of your usual safe colours can be a bit daunting, but again it is worth it for the wedding happiness. Why dont you try to rent something to ensure that it wont dust in your wardrobe afterwards. Like this delicious Vampire’s Wife Red dress available at HURR.
£153 / 4 days
HAIR ACCESSORIES
Now after a fair amount of weddings, I have come to the conclusion that a hair accessory is always preferable. It gives that je ne sais quoi extra effect of your outfit that is much appreciated by the hosts. It doesn't have to be big or matchy matchy, try a visor or a headband. Also as Tatler kindly points out in their guide “be considerate when it comes to hat height. Nobody will thank you for blocking their view of the bride.”
This fabulous yet chic hat is the perfect size for your je ne sais quoi addition. Rent this masterpiece from Camilla rose on HURR.
£86.25 / 4 days
When hunting for hats, you quickly realise that they are indeed a piece of true craftsmanship and art that sadly comes with a high price tag. For a more reasonable option check out the hats at John Lewis that are very stylish but sadly not the most sustainable.
£65
The true king of millinery is Stephen Jones, he has collaborated with the best houses and his stardom in fashion is just absolu. These pieces are more as an investment in true art than a hat.
£POA
The true queen of hair style : Jennifer Behr makes the most romantic accessories. This clip is crafted from satin, and tied into a pretty bow and sewn with glimmering embellishments depicting a flourishing garden of blooms. So wedding chic!
£630
SHOES
As a guest you are expected to dance, so forget stilettos. Also most events seem to have at least one part on some sort of grass lawn, so opt for nice ballerinas, summertime chic sandals and if you have to have a heel opt for a kitten one. Never, and I mean this, never dance barefoot, no outfit or other guests appreciate this, so always have a dance shoe/change in that bag you hide somewhere.
Zara shoes are probably not the most sustainable (even if these are made with “fake leather” which basically just means plastic). However the style and quality is actually very good for the price and these could be in your wardrobe for a very long time, as they are as cool worn with jeans to the office as to your next wedding.
£35,99
My favourite shoe brand has the go to dance yet chic shoes. The Mafalda satin slipperes from Flabelus are just the perfect marriage between comfort and style. Try to match your Hair accessory with this colour and you are a top notch wedding guest.
£200
Castañer's signature espadrilles have been worn by everyone from Grace Kelly and Jacqueline Kennedy to Meghan Markle and Jeanne Damas. This ivory 'Chiara' pair is made from durable canvas and set on woven jute platform wedges. Knot the ankle ties in a pretty bow and wear yours with breezy summer dresses.
£115
Thanks to Sex and The City, Manolo somehow became THE wedding shoe, but as a wedding guest you can also embrace these fabulous satin shoes. Opt for another colour than blue or white, maybe this fuchsia?
£945
BAGS
A wedding is a bit like a red carpet event, no bag ever seems to go with the outfit. Even if you try hard and match the smallest clutch bag you have in the end, it just turns out a bit useless - not being able to fit any of your essentials. However, as mentioned above, a bag is much needed. My suggestion is go together with some girlfriends and share a tote bag (discreet no logos) together that you hide at a good place in the church (never to be seen with any photos take turns to move it out of sight) and later under the chairs at the party.
This spacious bag it's made from canvas with striped webbing handles and has leather at the top for a sleek finish. Inside, there's space for you and your friends, for dance shoes if needed, makeup, along with an extra layer should it get cold and a water bottle for those hot wedding days.
£275
This tote is especially chic. It's made from raffia and is spacious enough for all your essentials, and woven with the house's logo across the front. Ideal if you even get together and buy it with your friends as its a bit pricey.
£2,045
As this bag is more to hide than to show, this discreet cotton tote bag made with recycled cotton is kind of the perfect '“wedding guest hide tote”.
£10
If you want to go the extra mile, you and your friends can go together (as you dont want to see too many of these tote bags - they are not meant to be seen) and get a tote bag personalised in organic cotton with the wedding couple or location could be a cute addition.
From £3,23
DRESS
Now the biggest question is what type of dress to wear, once you have established colour and pattern the shape of the dress is equally important. Is it a day wedding? Is there a break to change for the evening? Are you supposed to wear two outfits? Is there a dress code and what is it? Is it black tie or formal = Long dress or Semi Formal = knee length? Or against my possible attending - casual = sundresses? These are sadly questions you do have to ask the hosts prior to deciding on your dress, not to find yourself with any uncomfortable surprises during the day.
Once these have been answered you can choose your dress. If I have to choose one designer to take inspiration from it would be Emilia Wickstead for her superb take on modern elegance. Also if you feel that this is an outfit that you don’t see yourself likely to wear soon again, do rent it so the dress can have many more fabulous outings.
For a Day Wedding: Emilia Wickstead's 'Asia' midi dress feels structured rather than flowy. With a squared neckline, fitted bodice and fluted skirt, the silhouette feels so distinctive to the British designer. Match your lipstick to the pretty pink shade.
£1,990
For an evening wedding: Rent a Rixo floral long dress through HURR. The plunged neckline is quite chic as legs and arms are covered.
£80,45 / 4 days
This halterneck ruffled maxi dress is the perfect day to night wedding. A bit shorter so doesnt have to be black-tie and yet elegant enough to fit in at day.
£385
This dress is cut from opulent mikado in an eye-catching green color. It has a fitted bodice and dramatic skirt that's lined with tulle to hold the shape. Wear it with or without the straps making it the perfect in-between dress.
£595
CO-ORDS
My latest obsession for co-ords I'm entirely blaming on Double J, who with her stylish yet extravagant prints has created a fun trend with matching to the maximus yet still remaining within that quintessentially Italian elegance. Somehow you can wear trousers to a wedding (if the top is matched) or even better a matching skirt and the best part - you can rewear both by themselves easily on a non wedding event later on, without appearing too dressed up.
This “Pavilion” shirt is printed with the same moody floral pattern as the matching skirt. It's made from semi-sheer linen and silk-blend and has dramatic blouson sleeves.
£725 shirt
£1,100 skirt
As far as interesting silhouettes go; this top may win the gold star. The asymmetrical hem and trapeze silhouette creates an alluring form, it’s undoubtedly upscale but looks equally as great with some jeans and flats.
£390 top
£470 trousers
This chic set is made from linen and designed to be fitted at bodice with an A-line skirt.
£295
This dark Burgundy set is made of a top with boat neck top with a sleeveless design. Features a ruffled hem and concealed zip fastening at the back. Mid-rise midi skirt with an elastic waistband with side in-seam pockets. Made with 61% certified recycled polyester and 38% organically grown cotton.
£27.99 top
£45.88 skirt
COAT / JACKET
For colder weddings a coat is much needed. It doesn't have to match (that's a bit too much) but ideally it should follow the same style, so if you were wearing something with high waist and knee length it should be belted waist and knee length etc.
Emilia Wickstead's belted 'Kalonice' dress borrows its polished, tailored lines from traditional jackets. It's made from cloqué - a double-faced textile that lends structure and sharpness to the fit.
£2,160
Loaded with retro glamour, this jacket is cut from pastel bouclé. The effortlessly boxy fit is embellished with gold, pearl & diamanté buttons.
£400
For fabulous chic, rent THE smoking blazer from Saint Laurent through By Rotation. It features a double-breasted front and shoulder pads. Made from wool grain de poudre, it has a silk lining and satin peak lapels.
from £50/day
This fabulously cozy coat stands out with its generous, enveloping silhouette that embraces the body, and can be customised thanks to the coordinated belt. The kimono sleeves and large patch pockets underline its understated, refined luxury. Making it the perfect overcoat on that colder wedding day.
£4,335
HAIR
Somehow I don't normally talk about beauty in my column (maybe I should more in the future) but somehow hair is a vital styling for the perfect wedding guest. Loose hair is sadly not on the menu. A lot of detail and planning is going into this wedding and so should your hair. Always think up, and neat (nothing forbids you to let it loose on the dancefloor to attract those groomsmen..), it doesn't have to be too complicated, think of Meghan Markle's famous loose messy bun as the perfect inspiration.
Meghan Markle's loose bun hair style.
JEWELLERY
A wedding is the perfect opportunity to bring out those grandma hand-me-downs and vintage pieces that otherwise easily just lay around and dust in your wardrobe. However it is important again not to outshine the bride. So if you had a very fabulous grandma opt for the smaller pieces.
Jewellery, go chic but not too big.
FOR MEN
Last but not least, as we most likely have something to say about our other halves outfit, just keep it simple (Navy is OK!!) . A normal suit, (if not morning suit is specified for those English events) and may I add: a tie, its not often you can make him wear one so take the occasion to make him look extra dash (in the end you want to show him off a bit too). If the event is black tie for the evening - Bingo - bring on that James Bond vibe, and velvet can be a nice touch for both jackets and bowties too.
James Bond on his wedding day